February: How I Remembered Love

Time to check up on how I did with my February goals!  I loved that the focus of February was love and marriage; it coincided perfectly with all of that Valentine spirit in the air and also Caleb's birthday.  

Read The Excellent Wife:  I honestly haven't gotten very far, but I like what I've read.  One sentence at the beginning of the book caught my eye and I've been thinking about it since: "the husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife's time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day".  After a really busy day, it's hard to make sure I'm still pouring energy into us!  I've been trying to consciously work on this.

Frame and hang our wedding vows: done!  I hung them on one of the walls in our bedroom, and I love having them there.  They are hanging across from our bed, so I love that I see them every night before I fall asleep and every morning when I wake up.  It's definitely helped me to be more conscious of the things that I've promised Caleb.  Caleb said he really likes that we have them hanging up now, too.  I highly recommend hanging your wedding vows where you can be reminded of them often!

A few other things I learned:

1. I was sick for almost three weeks February, which obviously sucked.  But it was so much harder to pour into my marriage and consider my spouse better than myself when I wasn't sleeping well and felt gross and couldn't breathe.  I already know that I am so selfish, but not feeling well reminded me that it really is a constant battle to fight that selfishness and put Caleb's wants and needs first. 

2. I need to write Caleb more notes.  We were long distance when we were dating and engaged, and I wrote Caleb letters all the time then, but since we've been married I haven't been doing it as much.  Caleb absolutely loves loves reading notes from me; his Valentine card and his birthday card are still out because he loves re-reading them.  I need to make the time to put in words how thankful I am for him!

February: Remember Love

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The February chapter in The Happiness Project is all about marriage and loving well.  Basically the overall goal is to be a better wife, which is quite impossible to achieve in one month since it's something I'll be working at every day, all day, for the rest of my life.  Needless to say, I've had a hard time coming up with measurable goals for this month. Loving Caleb better means I need to be less selfish, more considerate, less demanding, more understanding, more patient, etc.  I don't think putting all of these things in a big list and labeling it goals would be very helpful; I already know I need to work on them.  Instead I've thought of a just a couple of practical things to do to keep me focused on being a better wife to Caleb. 

1. Read The Excellent Wife.  My sister recommended this book to me a while ago and it's been sitting on my bookshelf ever since.  I'm going to set aside time each day to go through the book, really thinking about the areas that I need to work on in order to be a better wife to Caleb.

2. Frame and hang our wedding vows.  I intended to do this right after we got married, but have never done it. We wrote our own vows, and I think hanging them up where we see them all the time is a great way to be reminded of what we promised each other.

How do you work on loving your significant other better?